Sometimes what we crave starts as family pressure—heavy, quiet, and never ours. When Mr. F finally asked me to train him to take pain, I held his gaze and set the rules, letting control turn that old burden into surrender.
邁向疼痛與高潮制約之路
很多時候，我們內心嚮往的，大多來自家庭背景所期待的，即使這個期待得背負沈重的負擔。
A lot of what we want—or crave—can be traced back to our families and the expectations they’ve placed on us.
今天的主角是我認識多年的老朋友「F先生」。他生長在一個保守家庭，且父母都期待他結婚生子，如同一般的異性戀模式。職場上，他成為公務體系的一員，生活周遭滿是傳統父權的意識集結，F先生也早已學會如何在異男圈打滾自如。
I’ve known Mr. F for years. He grew up in a conservative family, parents pushing him to get married like every “good straight boy.” At work, surrounded by old-school patriarchs, he’s learned to blend in with the straight guys like nothing’s different.
「雖然這樣開口很奇怪⋯但你可以把我訓練成刑奴嗎？」某天F先生傳來訊息，這也是我們認識以來，他第一次開口邀約調教。我很好奇地反問他：「你為什麼這麼渴望『疼痛』？」他認真地思考後說：「因為我很嚮往在疼痛時，只能逆來順受和低沈嘶吼的感覺，那會讓我很爽⋯」經他一提，我似乎可以理解這種矛盾的狀態，於是我們展開正式的第一次訓練。
Then one day, I got his message: “This might sound weird… but can you turn me into a sub who can take a lot of pain?”
It was his first time asking for a session. I had to ask: “Why pain? What’s so hot about that for you?”
His reply? “I love the moment when I’m being tortured and can’t stop groaning. That gets me so fucking hard.”
I knew exactly what he meant. And I already had the perfect first training in mind.
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